


Just Keep On Walking

by Jen425



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Decade, Tokusatsu
Genre: Angst, As per always my Tsukasa pieces have background ot4, Canon Temporary Character Death, Chronic Pain, Injury, Tsukasa isn’t 100 percent human anymore, Whump, all my fics involve Zi-O these days oops, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: It starts not quite obviously, just a twinge of pain in the back of his head, and, really, he supposed it’s better than death, or worse, the nonexistence he had expected to awaken within him.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Just Keep On Walking

**Author's Note:**

> Ever just have the sudden urge to hurt your fav?
> 
> Not Canon to my Canon because Natsumi and Yuusuke are alive.

It starts not quite obviously, just a twinge of pain in the back of his head, and, really, he supposed it’s better than death, or worse, the nonexistence he had expected to awaken within him.

He doesn’t focus on it because he saved everyone, and despite what he’d done for it, they loved him enough to bring him into force,

Despite being made of memories and energy he knows he’s still himself. He exists.

As a very part of the multiverse’s fabrics, he exists.

And he has bigger things to worry about, with the fight.

It’s not that big of a deal.

  
  
  


And of course there’s a price to pay for beating whatever deity or cosmic force might exists, just to simply exist, himself. Maybe he is that force, now. He can feel it in every motion and sensation that he’s less human than he had previously been.

Maybe this is just an adjustment period.

Maybe the first time the pain goes from a tinge to something full-bodied hurts like nothing else, and he thinks he screams even if he doesn’t pass out, just collapse.

(He has the thought that he doesn’t think his new body does that, that he won’t truly collapse unless he dies.)

Maybe it’s a coincidence that it’s the day Daiki runs off again.

Probably it’s not.

  
  
  


And… it happens occasionally, after that, but the pain probably lessens. Because he gets control of it. It’s not debilitating, if he has something he really needs to do, any pain fades.

Maybe it’s the trade off for becoming a force of nature.

Maybe it’s punishment for failing his job so terribly until the end, no matter how much everyone tells him he did it, he made the right choices.

He realizes at some point that he simply doesn’t care.

Because as long as he can keep traveling, continue his story, and have his… family? Partners? Home and smile and whatever Daiki is but he couldn’t be without it?

As long as he has these small yet giant things, it’ll be enough.

  
  
  


The pain is consistently worse, when acting out the plan with Marvelous, and from the moment Daiki appears on the ship it gets worse.

It’s been two years, though, and it’s rare that it debilitates him, now. And as always it fades when he stands in front of Dai-Shocker, or when he fights.

When Daiki places the pieces for the Big Machine together, however… the pain is beyond anything else. Tsukasa can’t even scream. It just feels like… like a glitch. Like he’s  _ glitching _ , and when it’s over enough to move he’s detransformed and dressed in his clothes, rather than his Great Leader not-uniform.

When he offers his hand and Daiki slaps it aside, Tsukasa doesn’t exactly blame him, but the pain still comes back a little bit more.

Tsukasa waits to go after Daiki, however, the thief needs a little bit of time to get ahead.

  
  
  


One thing that forever eases the pain is being home. More so when they all are, or when they’re all curled together on the bed and acting like some normal sort of relationship.

(Normal hasn’t ever been something Tsukasa could define, though, spending his childhood gathering power and traveling dimensions for the fun and escapism of it.)

When he can hear their breath, or feel them touching him, it grounds him.

And perhaps it’s what scares him, has him run off on his own more and more often as the years pass, despite the pain.

Perhaps it’s terrifying to exist on memories and stubborn enough love to revive him from nothingness.

Perhaps being the one who died is what leaves his predecessors’ words on holding onto the dead cut deeper than he shows.

Maybe he still shouldn’t exist.

  
  
  


But he does still go home, or cross paths with Daiki. He does keep going.

He doesn’t think he knows what other option he has.

He doesn’t honestly care.

  
  
  


It’s not just people that can cause it, though, or that can trigger reactions. It’s the multiverse, every tear and fracture, it’s how he knows when to visit the strange and stubborn shared world, the one that exists on sheer force of will on the multiverse’s part. Or when to visit another World.

It might be the people  _ or _ the force that has him glitch when he enters Oma Zi-O’s World. All he knows is that now worlds extend to times. It’s that he has the need, suddenly, to make a new Driver.

It’s that he goes home and for once that doesn’t help until Woz wanders in with a proposal.

  
  
  


It’s that when the multiverse resets, it doesn’t hurt anyone.

And Tsukasa is beyond proud of the boy who would become king, but chose to become a hero.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @flaim-ita or @dancingqueen-mai for just Toku.


End file.
